The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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