I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
