I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
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i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
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Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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