That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
