So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
