The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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