dude i'm inner monologue high
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize