sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.