Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.

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(212): mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you. http://tfl.nu/gr31

Replies (14) Good night (1024) Bad night (3790)
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(334): View more from Alabama

i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face

(1-334): View more from Alabama

so you're single again?

(334): View more from Alabama

yea but it was worth it

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(334): i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face (1-334): so you're single again? (334): yea but it was worth it http://tfl.nu/2tzr

Replies (46) Good night (5151) Bad night (1168)
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(818): View more from California

If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.

(323): View more from California

Sounds like a plan.

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(818): If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him. (323): Sounds like a plan. http://tfl.nu/lnib

Replies (34) Good night (8589) Bad night (997)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out

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(412): I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out http://tfl.nu/59g7

Replies (12) Good night (4964) Bad night (727)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.

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(908): Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got. http://tfl.nu/yeqj

Replies (12) Good night (1357) Bad night (4158)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.

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(724): Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues. http://tfl.nu/n3ga

Replies (14) Good night (4732) Bad night (1745)
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(520): View more from Arizona

So you had sex with my brother?

(1-520): View more from Arizona

It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.

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(520): So you had sex with my brother? (1-520): It sounds like you dont need me to answer that. http://tfl.nu/xsv7

Replies (8) Good night (5804) Bad night (1404)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.

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(919): He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say. http://tfl.nu/o436

Replies (8) Good night (987) Bad night (2482)
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(314): View more from Missouri

i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave

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(314): i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave http://tfl.nu/l2ny

Replies (6) Good night (2419) Bad night (832)
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(330): View more from Ohio

The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.

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(330): The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life. http://tfl.nu/qfsl

Replies (5) Good night (4193) Bad night (803)
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(248): View more from Michigan

My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl

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(248): My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl http://tfl.nu/sa4n

Replies (5) Good night (1793) Bad night (1096)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.

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(404): Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams. http://tfl.nu/pssg

Replies (4) Good night (1141) Bad night (669)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"

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(651): Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter" http://tfl.nu/1bxc

Replies (0) Good night (565) Bad night (394)
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(516): View more from New York

I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...

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(516): I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you... http://tfl.nu/3b4d

Replies (2) Good night (1136) Bad night (383)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns

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(703): Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns http://tfl.nu/cgxv

Replies (15) Good night (612) Bad night (348)

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