I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
Just general bites
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.