Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.