Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld

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  (407): You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld http://tfl.nu/gdg6
  Replies (51) Good night (3661) Bad night (481)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?

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  (305): why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do? http://tfl.nu/hnao
  Replies (18) Good night (616) Bad night (5705)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students

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  (773): somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students http://tfl.nu/zxwh
  Replies (8) Good night (4335) Bad night (946)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?

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  (978): so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call? http://tfl.nu/91ao
  Replies (29) Good night (671) Bad night (7506)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.

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  (703): We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along. http://tfl.nu/ex0g
  Replies (26) Good night (6084) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.

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  (210): Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO. http://tfl.nu/ip2n
  Replies (27) Good night (8430) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.

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  (330): I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter. http://tfl.nu/h1kf
  Replies (6) Good night (918) Bad night (2421)
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  (650): View more from California

  Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.

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  (650): Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution. http://tfl.nu/4daa
  Replies (9) Good night (3101) Bad night (866)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.

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  (937): I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge. http://tfl.nu/8lhz
  Replies (19) Good night (4447) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.

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  (714): I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through. http://tfl.nu/cb3b
  Replies (3) Good night (1037) Bad night (2391)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.

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  (814): Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral. http://tfl.nu/7qfs
  Replies (5) Good night (1444) Bad night (842)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.

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  (518): I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them. http://tfl.nu/sunc
  Replies (5) Good night (2467) Bad night (550)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays

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  (+61): For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays http://tfl.nu/y95k
  Replies (3) Good night (974) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!

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  (210): Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together! http://tfl.nu/bu70
  Replies (3) Good night (1199) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?

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  (201): Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh? http://tfl.nu/8f9v
  Replies (1) Good night (367) Bad night (236)

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