i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.