Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.

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  (305): alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog. http://tfl.nu/iy0a
  Replies (15) Good night (1167) Bad night (3255)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers

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  (203): Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers http://tfl.nu/86dj
  Replies (11) Good night (752) Bad night (4175)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.

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  (251): She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy. http://tfl.nu/vond
  Replies (15) Good night (6458) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...

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  (714): you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom... http://tfl.nu/jilx
  Replies (21) Good night (740) Bad night (5403)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.

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  (720): When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail. http://tfl.nu/a5d0
  Replies (13) Good night (1007) Bad night (4152)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?

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  (304): Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps? http://tfl.nu/jolf
  Replies (13) Good night (4262) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.

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  (480): Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America. http://tfl.nu/1n6p
  Replies (17) Good night (5248) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs

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  (414): Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs http://tfl.nu/ace8
  Replies (3) Good night (1105) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.

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  (908): How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks. http://tfl.nu/jloo
  Replies (11) Good night (843) Bad night (2484)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June

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  (864): Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June http://tfl.nu/abqo
  Replies (16) Good night (1906) Bad night (1880)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She puked her nose ring out of her face.

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  (615): She puked her nose ring out of her face. http://tfl.nu/6cuk
  Replies (11) Good night (1104) Bad night (2570)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.

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  (916): I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly. http://tfl.nu/j9zm
  Replies (2) Good night (1024) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue

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  (847): I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue http://tfl.nu/po5k
  Replies (3) Good night (517) Bad night (1444)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian

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  (970): This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian http://tfl.nu/y4qc
  Replies (5) Good night (965) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...

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  (765): I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you... http://tfl.nu/t7gx
  Replies (2) Good night (924) Bad night (557)

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