i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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