batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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