now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
