Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
