I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
