I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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