Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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