She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
