Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
