Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
we should paint friendship bongs
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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