I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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