Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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