I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
