ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
