how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
