she was so not down for the gang bang
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
