the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
