I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
