He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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