did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
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I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
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I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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