Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
