im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
MIDGETS
????
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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