So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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