38 yer olds are good kisserssss
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
