I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Randomize
