it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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