she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize