sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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