Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
