Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
