That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
