other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
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