Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
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Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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