I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The beers last night were like the tears from god
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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