Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
