bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
