He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
