Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
