Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
