My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize