I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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