You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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