Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
