i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
