And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Small penises have feelings too.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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