So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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