no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
