we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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