I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My liver just broke up with me...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
