if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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