woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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