My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
