Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
